Of online debaters and apologist there are no end! Some of them are doing good work, but there definitely seems to be no shortage. I'm happy to hear you won't be entering the fray. Reading what you shared above, I think we could be friends. I resonate with a lot of what you wrote. I love the woods, though I get out to them less than I'd like (it's a couple hours to the nearest ones).
Some of this I think I've commented on some of the videos you've done. I actually did end up on the mission field for 4 years and that's where I first encountered Orthodoxy. It was a life altering encounter that rocked my worldview and faith as a life-long Protestant/Evangelical. I also spent much time online and in books (though there was a lot less of both 20 years ago) trying to make sense of it all. I spent 10 years on the outside looking in trying to answer every question and resolve every doubt. With the soon arrival of my first child, I realized I had to figure out where I was going to plant my flag as I was going to be accountable for this new life. At that point, I new returning to what I'd known wasn't tenable so I was left with, "Where else can I go?" and ended up committing to the Orthodox path, getting plugged into a church and shortly after becoming a catechumen.
Being in the Church just over 10 years now, I know I made the right decision. I also see now, in retrospect, that had I continued waiting until I had reached absolute certainty about everything, I most likely would still be on the outside looking in. As a bible school professor of mine used to always say, "The knowing is in the doing". It's in living in the context of the Church, following the fasts and the feasts, praying the prayers and participating in the worship that real understanding comes. I've still got miles and miles to go, but I've never regretted the decision.
Of online debaters and apologist there are no end! Some of them are doing good work, but there definitely seems to be no shortage. I'm happy to hear you won't be entering the fray. Reading what you shared above, I think we could be friends. I resonate with a lot of what you wrote. I love the woods, though I get out to them less than I'd like (it's a couple hours to the nearest ones).
Some of this I think I've commented on some of the videos you've done. I actually did end up on the mission field for 4 years and that's where I first encountered Orthodoxy. It was a life altering encounter that rocked my worldview and faith as a life-long Protestant/Evangelical. I also spent much time online and in books (though there was a lot less of both 20 years ago) trying to make sense of it all. I spent 10 years on the outside looking in trying to answer every question and resolve every doubt. With the soon arrival of my first child, I realized I had to figure out where I was going to plant my flag as I was going to be accountable for this new life. At that point, I new returning to what I'd known wasn't tenable so I was left with, "Where else can I go?" and ended up committing to the Orthodox path, getting plugged into a church and shortly after becoming a catechumen.
Being in the Church just over 10 years now, I know I made the right decision. I also see now, in retrospect, that had I continued waiting until I had reached absolute certainty about everything, I most likely would still be on the outside looking in. As a bible school professor of mine used to always say, "The knowing is in the doing". It's in living in the context of the Church, following the fasts and the feasts, praying the prayers and participating in the worship that real understanding comes. I've still got miles and miles to go, but I've never regretted the decision.
Not sure if you've stumbled across the blog of Fr. Stephen Freeman, but I think you might appreciated it. Here's a taste: https://glory2godforallthings.com/2024/01/19/the-song-of-all-creation/
Fr. Freeman is very good. Thanks and prayers