Marriage, Mission, & Martyrdom on St. Valentine’s Day
Why we can celebrate Romance and Christ on this Holy Day!
Growing up, I had no idea that Valentine’s day was connected with St. Valentine who died as a martyr for Christ around the year 269 AD. Instead of honoring a martyr of the church, I was mostly concerned about getting some heart shaped candy and a little exchange card from my elementary crush. Does this mean that we should forget the romance associated with this holiday or only feel sad about Christian persecution? By no means! Romance and marriage have a deep connection to this saint, because he recognized that the selfless love found in marriage was worth dying for.
So who was this St. Valentine? He was likely a priest (presbyter in Greek) within Rome when he was beheaded under the reign of Emperor Claudius II before Christianity was made legal. He is celebrated on February 14th by the Western liturgical calendar (Catholic, Anglican, Lutheran, Orthodox-Western Rite) and July 6th on the Eastern Calendar. There are many traditions associated with him connected to marriage. One popular tradition was that he married Roman soldiers when they were required to be unmarried and completely devoted to military campaigns. St. Valentine, knowing that the sexual act and romance could not be detached from married life, began celebrating wedding ceremonies in secret. When he was found out, he was killed for disobeying the orders of the Emperor.
This is why it is fitting that this holiday, where we get the phrase ‘holy day,’ is associated with red. The blood of this martyr was mingled with love for Christ and poured out for many. It is this same passionate, ‘martyred’ love that must also flow through our veins if mystical, one-flesh, union in Holy Matrimony is going to survive the hostility of today’s world. Without supernatural grace and a meaningful mission to unite the couple, life-long marriage has simply become an impossibility. The climate of our society has become too cold and too harsh for this species to survive. Hope is grounded in a philosophical worldview about reality. When we have this type of foundation or grounding, (not necessarily ‘absolute certainty’) of where we came from and where we are going, marriage thrives. However, when we become overly distrustful about any truth claim or ideal, our own minds and society begins to fragment and crumble along with the institution of marriage itself.
When we know what is good and meaningful in contrast to what is evil and destructive, then marriage can be a fortress that survives the demonic attacks upon the soul. It actually has the grand potential of renewing culture and civilization and even taking us to Heaven! If we settle for marriage as simply a civil arrangement and ‘paperwork’ for the sake of taxes, then it can easily be abandoned. However, if Holy Matrimony is a mystical union that Christ brings about between a baptized man and woman, then it can, by grace, take us ‘further up and further in’ into union with God Himself. (We call this ‘theosis’ or ‘deification’ when we partake of God’s own supernatural life; see 2 Peter 1:1-4). This is why the Christian tradition historically referred to marriage as a ‘sacrament’ or as a visible sign of invisible grace.
The Apostle Paul agrees when he states that marriage is an opportunity for the sacrificial love of Christ to be on display to the world and for the renewal of the couple as they are washed and made holy in God’s Word (Ephesians 5:25-33).
Later on, St. John Chrysostom, the greatest preacher in the ancient world, preaches a sermon on this same passage and admonishes young husbands to love their wives more than themselves. He encourages them to say these words to their brides:
“I love you, and prefer you to my own soul. For the present life is nothing. And I pray, and beseech, and do all I can, that we may be counted worthy so to live this present life, as that we may be able also there in the world to come to be united to one another in perfect security. For our time here is brief and fleeting. But if we shall be counted worthy by having pleased God to so exchange this life for that one, then shall we ever be both with Christ and with each other, with more abundant pleasure. I value your affection above all things, and nothing is so bitter or so painful to me, as ever to be at variance with you. Yes, though it should be my lot to lose my all, and to become poorer than Irus, and undergo the extremest hazards, and suffer any pain whatsoever, all will be tolerable and endurable, so long as your feelings are true towards me. And then will my children be most dear to me, while you are affectionately disposed towards me.” (https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/230120.htm)
To conclude, let us always be reminded that the Christian idea of marriage at its deepest level is a type of holy martyrdom where the spouse is willing to lay his or her life down for the good of the other. Let us also be reminded that this ‘good’ isn’t about fleeting pleasures or home renovations, but becoming holy, being ambassador’s of hope, and most importantly, belonging entirely to Christ, our Beloved.
Happy Saint Valentine’s Day!
St. Valentine, Holy Priest and Martyr of Christ, Pray for us